


Once Upon A Time

by LaDemonessa



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 03:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2175918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaDemonessa/pseuds/LaDemonessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After dealing with a particularly horrible customer, Garak shares with the Doctor a story about another difficult woman he met while working as a gardener on Romulus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Upon A Time

Once Upon A Time

By JA Ingram

 

"…is unacceptable!"

Julian stopped in the doorway, his eyebrow lifted in curiosity. "Am I  
interrupting something Garak?"

"You most certainly are!" A rather heavyset woman snapped as she glared  
at him and pointed a pudgy finger in Garak's direction. "That-that  
BUTCHER has ruined my gown!"

"Madame, I assure you I…" Garak began.

"You be quiet!" she barked, "This is outrageous! The silk is positively  
ruined beyond all repair!"

Julian stepped forward and examined the garment. "It looks perfectly  
fine to me."

"That's because you're obviously stupid!" The woman gave him a withering  
glare. "It's been hacked to ribbons!" She held the dress up for Garak's  
inspection. "RIBBONS!"

Julian snorted and opened his mouth to give the rotund customer a piece  
of his mind not to mention a sampling of some interesting vocabulary  
words he'd learned from the chief, but Garak interrupted. "Madame, the  
dress is in perfect condition. I do not see…"

"Then get some glasses!" She stomped her foot in emphasis, "Don't you  
see those holes?"

Garak tightened his lips slightly and examined the dress. After a  
moment, he noticed a break in the stitches of the seam. "Ah, now I see…"

"*This* is damaged merchandise and I want my money back!" She folded her  
arms triumphantly.

"Madam, I'm afraid that our return policy is quite explicit in regard to  
special orders. The dress has been in your possession for well over  
three months…"

"It's still shoddy workmanship!" Her tone was adamant, "I won't my money  
right now or I shall turn you in to the merchants association."

"Since the station's merchants association is headed by a Ferengi, good  
luck," Bashir scoffed.

"And just who are you?" the woman sniffed, "The shop boy?"

"The doctor," Julian said superiorly.

"HUMPH! It just goes to show that Starfleet's standards are slipping."

"Pardon me ma'am but…" Julian's face was red with his growing anger.

"Madam!" Garak interrupted with a polite smile, "I think we can come to  
some sort of arrangement."

"Which is?" She looked at him triumphantly.

"If you'll step into my fitting area I will be happy to remeasure you  
and let out the seams a bit. After a refitting the dress should be  
perfect."

Her face paled, "Why would you need to do that?"

"Well, you…"

"It's the dress that's shrunk! My measurements are the same." She looked  
at him squarely. "I'll have you know I haven't gained so much as five  
pounds since the day I was married!"

"And when was that? Two hours ago?" Julian said underbreath.

"What did you say?" The woman rounded on him.

"Nothing." The doctor's smile was full of innocence.

"You are a very impudent young man. I hope you show more manners to your  
patients."

"It will only take a moment or two, I assure you." Garak attempted to  
lead her to the small raised platform but she snatched her arm back.

"Do not manhandle me!" She gave him a disdainful sneer; "I am the wife  
of the Ambassador to Hubris, not some Bajoran Dabo girl that you can  
just sweep aside." She grabbed the dress and marched out the door. "I'm  
taking my business elsewhere! I should have known better than to buy  
from a Cardassian in the first place."

"The nerve!" Julian spat. "How dare she speak to you like that!"

Garak sighed and calmly cleared the counter; "She's a customer, my dear  
doctor, that gives her every right to speak to me in any tone she  
pleases."

"You're not a serf or some galley slave, Garak! This is your shop!"  
Julian insisted.

"Which I own because I believe the customer is always right. Without  
that, I wouldn't have a shop because no one would want to come here."  
Garak shrugged, "The ruder the customer the better you try to please  
them. That's good business."

"I still think she was way over the top!" Julian insisted. "You should  
have told her where she could stick her dress and be done with it."

"She's hardly the worst client I've ever had," Garak chuckled. "In fact,  
compared to Marsee'ah Tem she was practically angelic."

"Who is Marsee'ah Tem?" Julian asked curiously.

Garak walked around the counter and clapped Julian on the shoulder as  
they headed out the door. "I'll tell you all about it over a nice plate  
of spinach pasta and Yiggerish curry."

***

Julian put down his napkin and sighed contentedly, "That was good, who  
knew Cardassians had such a way with pasta?"

"I did," Garak grinned wiping his mouth.

Julian chuckled, "So who was Marsee'ah Tem?"

"Marsee'ah Tem was…" Garak began.

"Wait!" Julian held up his hand, "You aren't going to tell me some cock  
and bull story about how you worked as a waiter for some Klingon  
restaurant and got shorted a tip by a diplomat who later died choking on  
gagh or something equally bizarre, are you?"

"Not today," Garak replied.

"Continue then," the doctor invited.

"Marsee'ah Tem was hardly a diplomat, but I did work for her. She was  
the mistress of a high ranking Romulan senator who hired me to do some  
landscaping on their country estate."

"When you were a 'gardener' on Romulas, right?" Julian rolled his eyes.

"Well it wasn't when I was a chiropractor on Risa, doctor" Garak  
answered evenly.

"You were a…?"

"Please doctor, may I finish my story?"

"Certainly," Julian cleared his throat. "Continue."

"Anyway, she was a difficult client to say the least."

***

"GARAK!!!"

The Romulan garden was in full bloom and a Cardassian man wearing a pair  
of overalls looked up from the roses he was planting to see a beautiful  
blonde woman walking toward him angrily. "Yes Ms. Tem?"

"What are those?" she asked pointing to a plot near the house.

"Lilies," Garak replied. "They came in beautifully this season, didn't  
they? I was so afraid that with the drier climate they'd…"

"They're orange," she said flatly.

"Why yes, they are orange," Garak nodded, "A lovely shade too."

"My dress is orange."

"It is?" Garak looked at her blue gown and blinked.

"My ball gown you moron!" Her tone grew shrill as she shoved a bruised  
flower in his face. "That shade is entirely too close to that of my  
gown! I'll clash!"

"Pardon?"

"Oh, don't you pay attention to anything?" She sneered, "Of course not!  
Why should you, you're just a servant. I'm referring to the ball gown  
being thrown tomorrow night! We're having drinks in the garden so I want  
you to do something about those horrid flowers."

"Um, and what would you have me do ma'am?" Garak inquired politely.

"Rip them up!" She declared, "Do whatever, just don't have them there!"

"But won't that leave a rather large garden space bare, madam?" He  
scratched his head thoroughly befuddled.

"Then choose something else!" She eyed him pompously; "I, and the  
senator, would prefer something, which compliments my gown."

"And what shade of blossom would you prefer madam?"

"Hmmm…" she pondered for a moment, "Blue. Bright blue."

Garak appeared perplexed for a moment before fondling the ridges on his  
chin thoughtfully, "Well, there is a wide variety of blue blossoms that  
are currently in season; Hydrangeas, some roses, violets, and several  
Vulcan and Risalian breeds. However, considering the social standing of  
yourself and the senator, Colonel Drak will, most likely, have secured  
an invitation to the party making such ordinary blooms inappropriate to  
say the least."

"And what do I care if some lowly colonel disapproves of my garden?" she  
huffed.

"Ah, but the colonel is on the munitions council with your…erhem,  
companion," Garak said, "and he is an avid gardener as well."

The well-coifed young woman allowed the information to seep into her  
brain for a moment. "Well, in that case, I want you to find a suitably  
rare blossom for my garden. In blue!" she added.

"Of course, madam," Garak's voice took on a concerned edge.

"Is that a problem Mr Garak?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not…exactly, madam," he answered reluctantly.

"Then why are you still looking at me with that stupid expression on  
your face?"

Garak winced but did not comment on her ill mannered response, "It's  
just that given the Colonel's own interest in landscaping, finding a  
rare blossom in that shade would be nearly…"

"If you can't find me those flowers, Mr. Garak, then I shall go to the  
senator and insist he find me a gardener that can!" She then stomped off  
in a huff leaving the Cardassian alone to ponder this dilemma.

***

"Are you sure you aren't making this story up?" Julian asked narrowly.

"Doctor! Why would I make up a simple story about a difficult client?  
What would be the point of it?" Garak asked.

"Well, there are a few holes in your story, that's all."

"Oh?" Garak's tone was inquiring.

"Well, it's just that Romulans aren't usually blonde nor do they seem  
like the type of people to worry about their gardens."

Garak shook his head, "Ms. Tem was an off-worlder from the Orion sector,  
I believe. At the time, it was quite the fashion on Romulas to have a  
fair complexioned mistress."

"The fashion?" Julian scoffed, "Aren't you the one always saying what a  
deathly dull and grey race they are?"

"Ah, but they are also a race that values political intrigue. Part of  
that is to not only keep up a certain appearance for one's opponents but  
to out do them at every opportunity. Colonel Drak was one of the up and  
coming military ingenues and his interest in landscaping had led several  
of the older families to restore the ancestral gardens."

"If he was that important then why didn't she recognise his name  
immediately?" Julian pointed out.

"She didn't need to. As soon as she heard me mention the munitions  
council she recognised that he was a player in the same stew of  
political intrigue as her own senator." Garak took a sip of juice,  
"Unfortunately, keeping up with one's neighbours can easily spiral out  
of control as she was soon to discover."

***

"Madam."

Marsee'ah Tem looked up from her tea and into the grave aspect of the  
manservant. "What is it Resmes? I'm having my luncheon."

"Mr. Garak, the gardener, is requesting a brief audience, madam. Shall I  
send him away?" The Romulan butler glared eagerly at the doorway as if  
imagining the joyful prospect of removing the Cardassian from his  
domain.

She sighed, "No, show him in but see to it he wipes his feet. I don't  
want him tracking mud on the carpet."

"Very good, madam." He walked over to the door and signalled Garak to  
pass through. "Mind your boots," he warned as a parting shot as he  
exited behind him leaving both the Cardassian and his employer alone.

"What is it, Mr. Garak?" she asked without inviting him to be seated.

"I have a few pictures of different blooms for madam to choose from," he  
answered.

She tapped the buttons on the proffered PADD leisurely before stopping  
and examining one of the images with particular interest. "Plant this  
one," she requested, handing him the PADD.

"Oh no madam," he apologised. "I'm afraid I left that one in by  
accident. This flower is completely inappropriate--"

"I'll be the judge of that!" she snapped, "I like this flower now plant  
it and be done!"

"This is a Deltan Night Poppy, madam," Garak said apologetically. "The  
scent of it is considered somewhat…intoxicating."

"Then it will be most conducive to the spirit of the ball," she sniffed.

"Perhaps in a cooler climate," Garak agreed, "but with the heat and the  
dry soil I couldn't guarantee how the pheromones it produces may affect  
your guests. In addition, it is quite rare. I'm not even sure I could  
get them with the ball only a day away. Customs alone would keep--"

"Either plant this poppy or I will terminate your employment with this  
house," she said coolly.

"But customs, madam!" Garak insisted desperately, "You cannot import  
this sort of flora without encountering a delay through quarantine. Why  
don't I plant some nice Blue Gypsy roses there for the ball and when  
these plants are available I'll replace--"

"Never mind customs!" she insisted, "I will take care of that. Have  
someone transport the blooms overnight and then plant them, no matter  
the cost. I'll expect you to order fully-grown plants, by the way. I  
want them to look as though they've always been there, understood?"

"Yes madam," Garak agreed reluctantly.

"One must always remember to keep up appearances. Remember that and you  
may someday be more than a mere servant although with your attitude it's  
very doubtful. Now leave me to my lunch." She waved her hand  
dismissively and with a small bow, Garak departed.

***

"Deltan poppies?" Julian looked doubtful, "I've never heard of them."

"They are quite rare, I assure you." Garak took a bite of his desert. "I  
had to go through some very elaborate channels of communication before I  
secured the plants and even then I still had to have them shipped all  
the way to Romulas in a single day."

"Oh, but of course you succeeded," Julian said dryly.

Garak shrugged, "Luckily a collector of rare plant life owned a refuge  
nearby on Thallas IX and was agreeable to a trade. I sent him some of my  
Festoon hybrid orchids along with an extravagant sum of credits from Ms.  
Tem and he transported them right out."

"Luckily," Julian grinned.

"Meaning?" Garak inquired.

"Meaning I'm just waiting for the punchline."

"I don't quite follow, doctor."

"Everytime you start a story like this someone winds up killed or  
something gets blown up and it's always a coincidence when it happens,"  
Julian arched a knowing eyebrow. "So, who got killed? Marsee'ah? The  
senator? Who?"

"No one was killed," Garak stated. "The blossoms made a great impression  
on all the guests, particularly the senator and the colonel, and I left  
shortly thereafter to open my shop here on DS9 with the bonus money I  
received from my landscaping efforts."

"And that's it?" Julian asked.

"That's it," Garak confirmed then looked at the chrono. "Oh bother, I'm  
late for a fitting. I'll see you next week then?"

"Of course," Julian waved, watching him leave.

For a long while Julian stared after the tailor. Something seemed a  
little…off about his story. He chuckled a bit; something was always off  
about Garak but the story itself seemed a little too…

"Hello Julian!"

"Colonel Kira! And Odo, hello!" Julian greeted with a smile.

"We were just about to have lunch, want to join us?" Kira invited.

"Yes," Odo said, "I'm sure Nerys would appreciate the novelty of having  
a lunch companion who can actually eat something."

Kira slapped her lover's shoulder with a grin then turned to the doctor,  
"We'd love to have you sit with us, really."

"No. No thank you," Julian rose from his chair. "Actually, I've just  
finished."

"Some other time then," Odo said and the two began to walk away.

"Odo?" Julian asked thoughtfully.

The changeling turned to face him, "Yes, doctor?"

"Have you ever heard of Marsee'ah Tem?"

Odo frowned, "The name seems a bit familiar but I can't quite place her,  
why?"

"What about a Colonel Drak with the Romulan military?" Julian asked.

"Why yes," Odo said. "Now I remember. Why are you so interested in the  
sex scandal now, doctor? Marsee'ah Tem was arrested over 12 years ago."

"Who?" Kira asked curiously.

"Sex scandal?" Julian inquired.

Odo sighed and began to explain. "Marsee'ah Tem was the mistress of  
Senator Jonhz, head of the munitions council and attempted to  
assassinate him and several other guests by planting some sort of  
gaseous flower in the garden which would affect only Romulans."

"She killed them with a plant?" Kira scoffed.

"No, she attempted to kill them. Unfortunately for her, the plant, some  
sort of illegal poppy, was not native to Romulas and the nutrients in  
the soil changed the chemical composition of the gas."

"So the senator and the colonel were okay?" Julian asked.

"Well, they lived, at any rate." Odo cleared his throat nervously.

"But you said it was a sex scandal," Kira pointed out.

"Yes, well, if I recall correctly the plant produced some sort of  
pheromone which caused a spontaneous…hormonal reaction in the guests.  
One similar to that of their genetic cousins the Vulcans."

"Hormonal…? You mean like ponn farr?" Julian asked incredulously.

"I believe so."

"You're kidding." Kira began to chuckle at the mental images produced by  
his statement.

Odo shook his head; "After the 'effects' of the poppy wore off she was  
arrested for attempted murder and for violating customs procedures."

"But what about Ga--er, their gardener?" Julian asked.

"Their gardener insisted she was the one who demanded he plant the  
flowers despite his warnings. He, in fact, had several witnesses to say  
that she would often bully the staff in such a manner. He was released  
without incident and the Senator and the colonel soon after retired from  
the council."

"But it wasn't their fault!" Kira said, "Why did they have to retire for  
what she did?"

"Actually, that was the scandal. Apparently when the hormonal 'reaction'  
occurred the senator and the colonel found solace in one another's  
company. It seemed that they enjoyed the arrangement so much that they  
decided to give up politics and take up gardening full time."

"I'll have to ask Keiko if she can get me some of those plants," Kira  
said then chuckled as Odo shot her a look. "Kidding."

"How is it you came by this information, doctor?" Odo gave him a  
searching look.

"I…I was researching some, uh…poisons and I came across a vague passage  
in a medical text," he said quickly. "If you'll excuse me, I'm late for  
a fitting at Garak's shop."

The two watched him exit the replimat before Kira began to chuckle,  
"Passion poppies, huh? How would have thought Romulans were into that  
sort of thing."

"Did the doctor seem a bit off to you?" Odo asked as he watched Julian  
hurry toward the tailor shop.

"No more than usual," she shrugged. "Let's go eat."

 

The End


End file.
